Deus Ex Finch

Clearly, this is a finch with a purpose. We’re amazed that we were able to capture our zebra finch in flight so perfectly. We lucked out; the camera from Costco wasn’t anything special (Panasonic Lumix DMC-FS5 10mp).

1. [Zebra finch] I can’t find my friend!
2. That does it. I’m off to find her!
3. She can’t have gone far – it’s a small cage!

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The finches never liked snuggling in their cozy huts (blue fuzzy bit in bottom left corner); they have just always preferred hanging out on a single perch at a 45-degree angle in the top back-right side of the cage.

1. [Narrator] You found your friend, I see.
   [Java rice finch] Click!
   [Zebra finch] Not exactly…
2. She looks alike, but something’s different.
   [Java rice finch] Click! Whirr!
3. [Zebra finch] I just can’t put my finger on it…
   [Java rice finch] Scan inconclusive.

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The zebra finch is endlessly fascinated by her companion, a Java Rice Finch. They’ve bonded quite well.

1. [Narrator] Life is a little strange in the cage, it seems.
   [Java rice finch] Objective unaccomplished.
2. Attempting new orientation (turns around). Initiating scan…
3. [Zebra finch] (looking down from above) I’m not sure if I should be fascinated or concerned…

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It’s rare to catch this particular Java Rice Finch in flight.

1. [Narrator] How’s things back at the nest?
   [Zebra finch] They’re ok, I guess…
2. I think this new finch must be Swedish… or something.
3. [Java rice finch] (flying) Scan inconclusive. Initiating pass #53-a8.

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Amazingly enough, this is not photoshopped. While clipping the finch’s nails, he adopted his, “I’m lifeless and dead” pose. Lazy Orange Fat Cat is harmless and puts up with a lot, so resting the finch on top for a brief moment seemed like a good idea at the time. These days, we would never indulge in what could be an unpredictable situation.

1. [Java rice finch] Perimeter alert!
2. …Objective!
3. (bird laying on the back of cat’s head)
   [Lazy Orange Fat Cat]  This will not end well…

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Yes, indeed; Sneaky Black Cat is hiding under the floor mat (note the black tail).

1. [Lazy Orange Fat Cat] That is one nutty bird.
2. I’d better get outta here before she returns…
3. (to black cat hiding under carpet) So… got any room under there?
   [Black Sneaky Cat] Hey wait… you can see me?

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This is one of our more favorite (and often reused) punch lines in the third panel. There is a vague recollection that this came from the first episode of Enterprise (“Broken Bow”).

1. [Lazy Orange Fat Cat] Finally, safe harbor from that annoying bird.
2. I think I’ll stick by your side for the next day or so, just to play it safe.
   [Dog] (exclamation of shock)
3. [Lazy Orange Fat Cat] Oh yeah? Well, I don’t like the way you smell either!

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Yes, it says “Kuş” on the nest box.

1. [Narrator] Meanwhile, back at the nest…
   [Java rice finch] Perimeter secure!
2. [Narrator] Is there a problem?
   [Java rice finch] Yes! Objective is unaccomplished!
3. [Zebra finch] (emerges) Ugh. Do you know what time it is?
   [Java rice finch] Bzzt!

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This is Mady the ferret. He’s quite squiggly and always, ever curious. The Java rice finch was not happy about having the ferret peering into the cage.

1. [Narrator] Sometimes, curiosity is a good thing…
   [Ferret] Say… what’s that?
2. Ooh! I’ve never seen the inside of the bird cage before!
3. [Narrator] Sadly, this would not be one of those times…
   [Java rice finch] Perimeter Alert!

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1. [Lazy orange fat cat] What the…
2. [Ferret] (from above) Howdy do! Might you have a spare safety net and some bird repellent on hand?
   [Lazy orange fat cat] Wow… that’s one strong finch!
3. [Ferret] So… um, gonna help?
   [Lazy orange fat cat] Hey, I’m dense, not stupid…

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1. [Sneaky black cat] What a slow morning.
2. Of course, there’s something you don’t see every day…
3. [Ferret] (from above) Howdy do!
   [Sneaky black cat] You’re not quite… normal, are you?

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1. [Java rice finch] Click! Whir!
   [Zebra finch] What an odd fellow…
2. [Java rice finch] Initiating scan…
   [Zebra finch] It’s actually kinda creepy…
3. [Java rice finch] No peanut butter sandwiches found. Perimeter secure!
   [Zebra finch] And yet, somewhat comforting at the same time…

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1. [Narrator] Life continues on in the nest.
   [Java rice finch] Objective missing!
2. Initiaiting primary protocol.
3. Yoo hoo! Objective!

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1. [Narrator] Our brave little finch is off on yet another mission.
   [Java rice finch] Click. Whir!
2. Objective out of range. Initiating surveillance mode.
3. [Narrator] You’re not quite… normal, are you?
   [Java rice finch] (breaking the 4th wall) Do not make me apprehend you.

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Not photoshopped. We’re holding the java rice finch just out of camera view.

1. [Ferret] What’s that noise?
2. Hmm. I thought I heard something. Must be nothing.
3. [Java rice finch] Objective?

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Yes, the third panel is photoshopped with the same picture of the bird. One of our rare uses of photoshop.

1. [Maltese dog] There he goes again. Harassing the neighbors.
2. Frankly, I’m not sure who to feel more sorry for…
3. [Java rice finch] (to neighborhood cat) Objective?

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As with all things, an ending is in sight.

1. [Narrator] The problem started out innocently enough one day…
   [Java rice finch] Initiating scan…
2. Alert! Narrow passageway! This unit is stuck!
3. Division by zero! Run! Flee!

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This brings us back to the early days of Windows 95.

1. [Java rice finch] Error.
2. [Zebra finch] What’s all the ruckus about?
   [Java rice finch] <input>(0): Error: Signal segmentation fault!
3. Begin dump of physical memory…
   [Zebra finch] It sounds so creepy, yet so poetic…

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No surprise, this comic series was started back in 2009.

1. [Java rice finch] Woah. What a trip.
2. [Zebra finch] You ok?
   [Java rice finch] I’m not sure…
3. Wait. What year is it?
   [Zebra finch] Its 2009. Welcome back!

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1. [Zebra finch] So, you don’t remember a thing?
   [Java rice finch] Not really.
2. I have vague recollections. Nothing specific.
3. [Zebra finch] Well, at least you’re home now!
   [Java rice finch] Wait. This isn’t the Helsinki International Airport…

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1. [Narrator] The realization is fast, yet subtle…
   [Java rice finch] Helsinki. Fjords. The Åland Islands…
2. They’re all gone. Replaced by this… cage.
3. [Narrator] The Åland… wait, what?
   [Java rice finch] Parliament will hear of this!

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More quick-stop camera action. We’re simply amazed.

1. [Narrator] Back at the nest, an attempt to regain lost memories is in full swing.
   [Zebra finch] Ok, now flap your wings like this…
2. [Java rice finch] Puff… puff… this is exhausting!
   [Zebra finch] See, you’re remembering! Now, follow me!
3. [Java rice finch] Hey! Ever hear of taking public transportation!?

Panel #2 is actually of the finch landing, not falling backwards. Creative comic license, we say.

1. [Java rice finch] I think I’m finally getting the hang of this bird stuff.
2. I mean… hey, woah! (falls backwards off perch)
3. [Zebra finch] (peering down) You ok?
   [Java rice finch] Medic!

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1. [Narrator] So, what’s up with all this stuff about not being a bird?
   [Java rice finch] Sadly, it’s true. Plus, I’m a bird. Imagine my surprise at discovering that bit of trivia.
2. [Narrator] And you have absolutely no idea how you ended up here?
   [Java rice finch] Not in the slightest. I just don’t know what to say to everyone to convince them otherwise.
3. [Narrator] How about something patriotic?
   [Java rice finch] But I don’t know the words to the Finnish National Anthem!

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Our European Starling didn’t know what to make of this; it’s not his normal cage to be in. The finch was also uncertain.

1. [European starling] Once a human, huh? That’s though.
   [Java rice finch] Yeah…
2. [European starling] Most unfortunate. It’s not like we meant for you to retain your…
   [Java rice finch] (expresses shock)
3. [European starling] … Say, how about those Red Socks?
   [Java rice finch] Woah, woah, woah!

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1. [European starling] Well, that didn’t go as planned.
2. Subject MK2 has become aware of our intentions.
3. Hopefully, he won’t get any bright ideas…
   [Java rice finch] Hey, I let the cat inside. He wants a word with you.

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1. [Narrator] And so it came to pass that great change befell the inhabitants of the nest.
2. By letting the cat in the cage, the brave little finch did, indeed, save the day. But at what cost?
3. Indeed, it seems an unholy alliance had been precariously formed…
   [Java rice finch] Agreed?
   [Black sneaky cat] Agreed.

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1. [Wind-up Monster toy] I sense… a great disturbance in the land, awakening me from my slumber…
2. For it is I, Chester the Great, who will bring balance back to the world!
3. (Breaking the 4th wall) Mom had a strange sense of humor…

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1. [Black sneaky cat] Man, I can’t believe I finally got to eat those pesky birds…
2. [Wind up monster toy] Halt! There can only be one solution for having altered the balance of power in the nest!
   [Black sneaky cat] Gasp! You don’t mean…
3. [Wind up monster toy] Yes! A rewrite!
   [Black sneaky cat] Curse your cleverness!

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And so it ends.

1. [Narrator] Back from the dead, I see.
   [Zebra finch] Wow! That was A-may-zing!
   [Java rice finch] …
2. [Zebra finch] Only one other thing would make this complete…
   [Java rice finch] O… Ob…
3. [Narrator] Deus Ex Machina.
   [Zebra finch] Yea!
   [Java rice finch] Objective unaccomplished!