Clearly, this is a finch with a purpose. We’re amazed that we were able to capture our zebra finch in flight so perfectly. We lucked out; the camera from Costco wasn’t anything special (Panasonic Lumix DMC-FS5 10mp).
- [Zebra finch] I can’t find my friend!
- That does it. I’m off to find her!
- She can’t have gone far – it’s a small cage!
The finches never liked snuggling in their cozy huts (blue fuzzy bit in bottom left corner); they have just always preferred hanging out on a single perch at a 45-degree angle in the top back-right side of the cage.
- [Narrator] You found your friend, I see.
[Java rice finch] Click!
[Zebra finch] Not exactly…
- She looks alike, but something’s different.
[Java rice finch] Click! Whirr!
- [Zebra finch] I just can’t put my finger on it…
[Java rice finch] Scan inconclusive.
The zebra finch is endlessly fascinated by her companion, a Java Rice Finch. They’ve bonded quite well.
- [Narrator] Life is a little strange in the cage, it seems.
[Java rice finch] Objective unaccomplished.
- Attempting new orientation (turns around). Initiating scan…
- [Zebra finch] (looking down from above) I’m not sure if I should be fascinated or concerned…
It’s rare to catch this particular Java Rice Finch in flight.
- [Narrator] How’s things back at the nest?
[Zebra finch] They’re ok, I guess…
- I think this new finch must be Swedish… or something.
- [Java rice finch] (flying) Scan inconclusive. Initiating pass #53-a8.
Amazingly enough, this is not photoshopped. While clipping the finch’s nails, he adopted his, “I’m lifeless and dead” pose. Lazy Orange Fat Cat is harmless and puts up with a lot, so resting the finch on top for a brief moment seemed like a good idea at the time. These days, we would never indulge in what could be an unpredictable situation.
- [Java rice finch] Perimeter alert!
- (bird laying on the back of cat’s head)
[Lazy Orange Fat Cat] This will not end well…
Yes, indeed; Sneaky Black Cat is hiding under the floor mat (note the black tail).
- [Lazy Orange Fat Cat] That is one nutty bird.
- I’d better get outta here before she returns…
- (to black cat hiding under carpet) So… got any room under there?
[Black Sneaky Cat] Hey wait… you can see me?
This is one of our more favorite (and often reused) punch lines in the third panel. There is a vague recollection that this came from the first episode of Enterprise (“Broken Bow”).
- [Lazy Orange Fat Cat] Finally, safe harbor from that annoying bird.
- I think I’ll stick by your side for the next day or so, just to play it safe.
[Dog] (exclamation of shock)
- [Lazy Orange Fat Cat] Oh yeah? Well, I don’t like the way you smell either!
Yes, it says “Kuş” on the nest box.
- [Narrator] Meanwhile, back at the nest…
[Java rice finch] Perimeter secure!
- [Narrator] Is there a problem?
[Java rice finch] Yes! Objective is unaccomplished!
- [Zebra finch] (emerges) Ugh. Do you know what time it is?
[Java rice finch] Bzzt!
This is Mady the ferret. He’s quite squiggly and always, ever curious. The Java rice finch was not happy about having the ferret peering into the cage.
- [Narrator] Sometimes, curiosity is a good thing…
[Ferret] Say… what’s that?
- Ooh! I’ve never seen the inside of the bird cage before!
- [Narrator] Sadly, this would not be one of those times…
[Java rice finch] Perimeter Alert!
- [Lazy orange fat cat] What the…
- [Ferret] (from above) Howdy do! Might you have a spare safety net and some bird repellent on hand?
[Lazy orange fat cat] Wow… that’s one strong finch!
- [Ferret] So… um, gonna help?
[Lazy orange fat cat] Hey, I’m dense, not stupid…
- [Sneaky black cat] What a slow morning.
- Of course, there’s something you don’t see every day…
- [Ferret] (from above) Howdy do!
[Sneaky black cat] You’re not quite… normal, are you?
- [Java rice finch] Click! Whir!
[Zebra finch] What an odd fellow…
- [Java rice finch] Initiating scan…
[Zebra finch] It’s actually kinda creepy…
- [Java rice finch] No peanut butter sandwiches found. Perimeter secure!
[Zebra finch] And yet, somewhat comforting at the same time…
- [Narrator] Life continues on in the nest.
[Java rice finch] Objective missing!
- Initiaiting primary protocol.
- Yoo hoo! Objective!
- [Narrator] Our brave little finch is off on yet another mission.
[Java rice finch] Click. Whir!
- Objective out of range. Initiating surveillance mode.
- [Narrator] You’re not quite… normal, are you?
[Java rice finch] (breaking the 4th wall) Do not make me apprehend you.
Not photoshopped. We’re holding the java rice finch just out of camera view.
- [Ferret] What’s that noise?
- Hmm. I thought I heard something. Must be nothing.
- [Java rice finch] Objective?
Yes, the third panel is photoshopped with the same picture of the bird. One of our rare uses of photoshop.
- [Maltese dog] There he goes again. Harassing the neighbors.
- Frankly, I’m not sure who to feel more sorry for…
- [Java rice finch] (to neighborhood cat) Objective?
As with all things, an ending is in sight.
- [Narrator] The problem started out innocently enough one day…
[Java rice finch] Initiating scan…
- Alert! Narrow passageway! This unit is stuck!
- Division by zero! Run! Flee!
This brings us back to the early days of Windows 95.
- [Java rice finch] Error.
- [Zebra finch] What’s all the ruckus about?
[Java rice finch] <input>(0): Error: Signal segmentation fault!
- Begin dump of physical memory…
[Zebra finch] It sounds so creepy, yet so poetic…
No surprise, this comic series was started back in 2009.
- [Java rice finch] Woah. What a trip.
- [Zebra finch] You ok?
[Java rice finch] I’m not sure…
- Wait. What year is it?
[Zebra finch] Its 2009. Welcome back!
- [Zebra finch] So, you don’t remember a thing?
[Java rice finch] Not really.
- I have vague recollections. Nothing specific.
- [Zebra finch] Well, at least you’re home now!
[Java rice finch] Wait. This isn’t the Helsinki International Airport…
- [Narrator] The realization is fast, yet subtle…
[Java rice finch] Helsinki. Fjords. The Åland Islands…
- They’re all gone. Replaced by this… cage.
- [Narrator] The Åland… wait, what?
[Java rice finch] Parliament will hear of this!
More quick-stop camera action. We’re simply amazed.
- [Narrator] Back at the nest, an attempt to regain lost memories is in full swing.
[Zebra finch] Ok, now flap your wings like this…
- [Java rice finch] Puff… puff… this is exhausting!
[Zebra finch] See, you’re remembering! Now, follow me!
- [Java rice finch] Hey! Ever hear of taking public transportation!?
Panel #2 is actually of the finch landing, not falling backwards. Creative comic license, we say.
- [Java rice finch] I think I’m finally getting the hang of this bird stuff.
- I mean… hey, woah! (falls backwards off perch)
- [Zebra finch] (peering down) You ok?
[Java rice finch] Medic!
- [Narrator] So, what’s up with all this stuff about not being a bird?
[Java rice finch] Sadly, it’s true. Plus, I’m a bird. Imagine my surprise at discovering that bit of trivia.
- [Narrator] And you have absolutely no idea how you ended up here?
[Java rice finch] Not in the slightest. I just don’t know what to say to everyone to convince them otherwise.
- [Narrator] How about something patriotic?
[Java rice finch] But I don’t know the words to the Finnish National Anthem!
Our European Starling didn’t know what to make of this; it’s not his normal cage to be in. The finch was also uncertain.
- [European starling] Once a human, huh? That’s though.
[Java rice finch] Yeah…
- [European starling] Most unfortunate. It’s not like we meant for you to retain your…
[Java rice finch] (expresses shock)
- [European starling] … Say, how about those Red Socks?
[Java rice finch] Woah, woah, woah!
- [European starling] Well, that didn’t go as planned.
- Subject MK2 has become aware of our intentions.
- Hopefully, he won’t get any bright ideas…
[Java rice finch] Hey, I let the cat inside. He wants a word with you.
- [Narrator] And so it came to pass that great change befell the inhabitants of the nest.
- By letting the cat in the cage, the brave little finch did, indeed, save the day. But at what cost?
- Indeed, it seems an unholy alliance had been precariously formed…
[Java rice finch] Agreed?
[Black sneaky cat] Agreed.
- [Wind-up Monster toy] I sense… a great disturbance in the land, awakening me from my slumber…
- For it is I, Chester the Great, who will bring balance back to the world!
- (Breaking the 4th wall) Mom had a strange sense of humor…
- [Black sneaky cat] Man, I can’t believe I finally got to eat those pesky birds…
- [Wind up monster toy] Halt! There can only be one solution for having altered the balance of power in the nest!
[Black sneaky cat] Gasp! You don’t mean…
- [Wind up monster toy] Yes! A rewrite!
[Black sneaky cat] Curse your cleverness!
And so it ends.
- [Narrator] Back from the dead, I see.
[Zebra finch] Wow! That was A-may-zing!
[Java rice finch] …
- [Zebra finch] Only one other thing would make this complete…
[Java rice finch] O… Ob…
- [Narrator] Deus Ex Machina.
[Zebra finch] Yea!
[Java rice finch] Objective unaccomplished!